ProlificMom

I entered a contest.  Well, its not actually a contest because I’m not actually competing with any other blogs.  And, I’m really not competitive with anyone but myself. I have never even liked popularity contests.   I just like to see if I can best myself.   Competing with others usually doesn’t work out well for me, and I learned at an early age to calculate guesstimate the odds of winning.  They are usually very high in favor of me not winning – kind of like the lottery, which I also do not play.  I know, its sound a little bit self defeting.  But I just don’t like to waist my time with acts of futility.

So, you ask, for someone who doesn’t like to compete or enter contests, why would I do this?

The answer: It just seems interesting and kind of fun.  I’m really trying to step out of my comfort zone and do new things.

So, will you help me?  {Insert Guilt Here}  I’m terrified that I’m going to throw a party and nobody will show up.   Please don’t leave me feeling like the lonely girl  in the middle of the school lunch room because nobody will sit with her even though she has the most incredible rock collection and she is willing to share her tapioca pudding.

Please vote for me by clicking on the button.  That’s all you have to do.  Oh, and did I mention that TopMommyBlogs.com has the some of the best mommy blogs.  If you are looking from some great mom blogs click on the button and find some great mommy blogs.

{ProlificMom - On The Edge}

I don’t know if there was a full moon out last night where you live, but it was shining really big over my house all night and all day today.

#1 overslept and missed the school bus because she had a serious nosebleed.  The mister had to take her to school – thankfully it was his day off.  I overslept after getting a FULL nights sleep – went to sleep at 9:00pm on Thursday and didn’t wake up until 6:30am.  That’s 9.5 hours of sleep!  Had enough time to take a shower but couldn’t wash my fine but very oily hair.

I had to go to the store first thing (7am) for chex mix for girl #2’s class party and a patch for a superhero cape with a hole in it.  When I got into the car I almost threw up from the smell of something that had died under the passenger seat – someone left an uneaten school lunch under the seat for several days.  I have an EXTREMELY STRONG gag reflex to bad odors so I had to ride with the windows down – it was very cold and did I mention the RAIN!  Our Walmart doesn’t keep Chex Mix on the same aisle as the chips and party mix so I looked for 15 minutes before a store clerk  found them for me on another aisle. TOTALLY NOT OBVIOUS.  The patch didn’t work – wouldn’t adhere to the cape because of the type of fabric.  When boy #3 got to school and got out of the car the cape magically disappeared to not be found.  Superman was left as just plane Kent Clark.    On the way to school I actually missed my turn, so I had to drive and extra 1.4 miles the extra long way around and through an additional school zone to get the kids there with one minute to spare.

{I NEVER EVER EVER EVER blog about work but  this is generic enough) At work I discovered that FedEx lost/misplaced/is searching for a package I sent out two weeks ago.  Somewhere in the United States there is a box of business cards being held hostage but FedEx can’t figure out which part of their empire company has possession of them.   This just had to happen because it was Full Moon Friday.  (Maybe that would be a great topic for a blog carnival.)  And, my new electric stapler malfunctioned.

After work I took Girl #1 for an evening of desperately need shopping therapy where we got the cutest and most awesome clothes for her wardrobe.  We capped off the evening with a brief stop at Starbucks where they were out of the one mix needed for the drink I REALLY  wanted.  After drinking our iced coffees we headed home.  As we pulled into our driveway at 9:00pm I reached for my purse only to discover that it had been left under the table at Starbucks.  We hurried back to Starbucks and THANKFULLY it was still under the table with nothing missing.  We got home at 9:30pm and realized that neither of us had eaten since lunch.  I made some quick grilled cheese sandwiches.  We hung all of the clothes and went to bed.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!  No more strange full moon activity for me today!  I’m going to bed.

Happy FULL MOON Friday!

Wooo Hoooo!!!!!

Recently I unburdened my soul and admitted to the world that I have had self esteem issues about my skin – specifically my hands and feet.  You can read that story here.

That was until today when my sister, D, called to let me know that, sharing the same genes, she has also always had the same old lady elephant hands and never liked them either. We both grew up this way – imagine little girls with wrinkled, old lady, elephant hands – and now she makes a living with her hands as an interpreter for the deaf.  They are OUT THERE all the time for the world to see (or hear).

BUT THEN, she also told me something TOTALLY AWESOME that I never knew OR SAW.  So, I had to look it up for myself.

Beautiful Wrinkled Hands

This is a picture of Nicole Kidman’s BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR HANDS.  Just look at all of those beautiful wrinkles!!!!

I’m not feelin so bad about my hands any more.

Beautiful Hands

Today I’m joining MckMamma in posting a Not Me! Monday!   For more Not Me! Monday! fun hop over to MckMamma. (Sorry, MckMamma, I couldn’t get your button to work in my post.)

There are so many embarrassing things I could post including this post of how my children have managed to totally embarrass me over the years.  But today I’m sharing somthing fun and sweet and still Not Me!

I love my kitties.  The are sweet and adorable and have brought much joy and peace to our house.  I love to hold and love on them as much as they will allow.  But I also find myself washing my hands as often as a germaphobe with serious OCD issues.

One thing I can’t stand is to see them jump up on the kitchen table.  I detest when my kids touch them right before eating and then I have to remind them to wash their hands before touching their food.  We have had a case of intestinal worms before (Boy #2) and I thought I was going to die of disgust and then I had to fight off the fear of getting them myself – and I’m NOT OCD or a hypochondriac. No. Not Me!

And I am not a clean freak, but you would never know that because I NEVER ALLOW COMPANY IN MY HOUSE.  Therefore there is no evidence and I can let the world have its illusion of who they think I am. TOTALLY NOT SUPERMOM. No. Not Me!

So, it surprised me at how my heart melted as I was cooking dinner tonight.  I turned around to find my kitties ON THE KITCHEN TABLE.  Instead of freaking out and swatting them down (followed by another comprehensive hand washing) I just had to stop and take these photos.

(And I just have to add that tonight was throw your food on the floor night at the ProlificMom house.  It started with son #1, who spilled his brother’s food on the floor and then got a good tongue lashing from yours truly and the Mister due to the circumstances of the accident.  Then, after dinner as I was putting a plate in the fridge for son #3, who refused to eat because he was too tired, I spilled the entire contents on the floor.  Yes, I do all of my own stunts.  I’m just really talented like that.  This was followed by a HUGE hug and apology to son #1)  It was definitely a NOT ME! MONDAY!

So, In the spirit of Not Me! Monday! :

I did not let my cats sit on the table while I cooked dinner and then I did not let them stay on the table while I took these adorable photos.  I also did not give son #1 a verbal tongue lashing for spilling HIS BROTHER’S food and then I DID NOT spill an entire plate of food on the floor all by myself!  :-)  NO, NOT ME!!!

Cat in the Hat

Brotherly love - Kitty Grooming

What?? Are YOU looking at ME?

I’m almost FOURDY and just recently, starting about three years ago, I started getting comfortable in the skin I’m in.  Its the only skin I have and yet I’ve never been truly comfortable in it.  However, we (my skin and me) came to an agreement.  We are all we have.  There is no other.  I can’t get new skin and my skin really isn’t going to change.  Its not a blind date that I can skip out on and I can’t pretend its not there.

So here’s the deal.  I’m white – like almost glow in the dark white – and pretty wrinkly (except for my face, no wrinkles there)  I have always had wrinkles on my hands, knees, elbows and feet, and that is never going to change.  We have made peace and its really OK.

These are my hands (well, one hand – the other was busy taking the photo.   I do all my own stunts.):  They have always been very wrinkled like a Sharpe that starts off with wrinkles and then grows into its skin.  Only, for me, the wrinkles are here to stay.  I’m never going to grow into them.  They grew with me.  But that’s OK.  I have decided that I like my hands.  They are very useful for blogging and they have kept me employed for the better part of the last 12 years.   Not to mention all the babies I have held and loved and comforted over the last 15 years.  So what if I’m not one of the pretty hands people – you know, the hand models.  I’m OK with that.

(Yes mom, this is a photo of my hand on the stove.) Only my family can appreciate the irony of this photo.  I burned both of my hands on a stove top burner when I was five.  I will have to share that story another day.  Lets just say I was a very curious child.  To this day I don’t like to stick my hands in the oven.  So’ I don’t bake much.

These are my feet:  It was only a few years ago that I was actually willing to wear open toe shoes in public.  In fact, someone once told me that I had hillbilly feet.  After that I was traumatized and I never exposed me feet in public again.  Well, at least not until a few years ago.

I actually used to be jealous of girls with pretty feet.  They wore open toe shoes and sandals all the time with such confidence as if it didn’t bother them at all.  I guess they were comfortable in the skin they were in.  Now I laugh, thinking that I was actually jealous of some-one’s feet.  How crazy is that?   I’ll never be a pretty feet foot model.  But now, we are at peace and I say less is more – less shoes more naked toe wiggle room.

I’m almost FOURDY and I’m finally OK with the skin I’m in.

Today I am linking to Kristin at We Are THAT Family for her 2nd Blogoversary Celebration and sharing with you some of the reasons that we too are THAT FAMILY.

Sometimes kids say the funniest things.

In my case, they say the MOST EMBARRASSING THINGS.  It NEVER FAILS.  If there is something spontaneous and just bad that can be said at an inconvenient time, it will come out of on of my kids mouths.

One day I came home to an episode of Seinfeld on television.  As I walked through the door it just  happened to be the episode where George is meeting with Texas businessmen who use the phrase for Son of a B!@#% over and over and over.   As I turned the corner in my living room I noticed that ALL of my children were watching TV.    This is where it goes into slo-mo for me as I  play it back in my head.  I was trying to run to the TV as fast as possible to turn it off or change the channel before it could be repeated but toooooo laaaaate.

For the next six months our four year old son (#2) repeated it as often as possible at home and in public.  The public part was mostly at church.

This is the same child who, the same year, got so angry when he had to go to the church nursery one Sunday night that he told the nursery worker the following:  ”I HATE YOU AND I HATE MY DAD AND I’M GOING TO CUT YOUR BUT OFF WITH AN ELECTRIC SAW.”  Yes, he has always been intelligent beyond his years and equally articulate.

Same son had to be removed from kindergarten after the first week and a half due to his daily meltdowns and there was also the physical assault on the assistant principal.

Several years later,  our three year old son (#3) aka: “clone of son #2″  showed us that he was his brother’s equal in every way.

They say that the Preachers kids are always the worst and this is why:  It was a very hot Texas Friday night in June.  I was on staff as the Director of Children’s Ministry and we were having an ice cream social at church.  The air conditioner in our building went out so we ate the ice cream as fast as possible because it was melting.  Everyone was thirsty.  We were singing Father Abraham.  If you are not familiar with this song, its kind of like the Hokey Pokey.  Half way through the song, #3 calls out that he is thirsty.  ”Mom, I’m thirsty” over and over and louder and louder.  I’m thinking I will wait until the song is over and then get him something to drink but #3 doesn’t want to wait.  He is so mad that I ignored him that he yells out from the back of the room – in the presence of all of the kids and their moms and one of our church board members: “I HATE YOU JACK A SS MOM…STUPID JACK A SS MOM!”  Imagine my embarrassment.  I continued with the song through the end and then we went outside to deal with issue.  He is so much fun at parties!

Two years later he was suspended from kindergarten on the second day of school for punching another student in the stomach.  As soon as I got the call from the school I called my mother and cried over the phone.

The stunts my kids have done have pushed me to the edge of reality.  They have climbed on the roof with butcher knives, thrown poop on the ceiling in the middle of the night, put Vaseline in my hairbrush, set a fire in the closet and I could go on and on and on but there is not enough time.  This is one of the reasons I started blogging.  Its really cheap therapy.   I’ve cried as many tears of agony as tears of joy.  I love them all more than life itself and I can’t function properly without them.  Children are a gift from God and BOY AM I GIFTED!!  In fact, I think I have been over endowed.   They are the gift that keeps on giving.  I can’t wait to see what they are going to be when they grow up.

We are definitely THAT family.

In almost exactly six months I will turn FOURDY.  I know, its misspelled because I’m not ready to say the actual number. This is the beginning of my countdown.

This number has always seemed soooo far away. Its a number other people have reached and we celebrated.  My two older sisters hit this magic number a few years ago and now its MY TURN.   I can only imagine how this must make my mother feel knowing that three of her children are over the half way mark.  I say its the half way mark because anything over 80, in my opinion, is a bonus.

Just recently, in the last few years, I started to feel the effects of aging – partly the effects of time and partly the effects of giving birth to FIVE little bowling balls – four of which were over 8 lbs and one of those was 9 lbs and 4oz ( At birth the doctor said he was the size of a SIX WEEK OLD – just what every mother wants to hear.)

OK, I will just say it now -Sometimes I FEEL OLD!  Actually, in my mind I’m still fifteen.  I want to go to Six flags as soon as the gates open and stay until they make me leave at the end of the night.  That’s what my mind tries to make me do, but my body – she’s no fool – she knows my limitations and she begs and pleads with my mind to make it stop.  It’s a battle of wills between the teenager and the little old lady in me, and its only the day after one of these crazy stunts that they actually agree.  There are sooooo many things my body just doesn’t want to do anymore and shes trying to change my way of life.

So, FOURDY is approaching.  Its got me in its sites and I have determined that its probably not going to slow me down.  Well, maybe just a little bit.  If this is the half way mark, that means that there are at least (hopefully) FOURDY PLUS MORE years of adventure, amusement parks, books to read, family and children to love, bikes to ride, new paths to take,  walks to enjoy, flowers to smell, new foods to try, Presidents to elect, pictures to take and blogs to write (and soooooo much more)  - but definitely no more trampolines (that is one area where my mind and my body definitely agree).

This is the beginning of my TURNIN FOURDY COUNTDOWN.  I really am OK with this magic number.  I come from a long line of strong, spunky and adventurous women and they are leading the way.  I don’t know if I will age gracefully but there will be lots of fun and laughter (and definitely chocolate ice cream).

All of my days are blessed  and every day, no matter how crazy or chaotic it may seem, is a gift from God.  Every day is an opportunity to honor Him, to serve Him and to teach my children to love Him.

I’m TURNIN FOURDY and that’s OK with me.

Kitty Criss-Cross

Today was a great day.  Our Pastor delivered an awesome and timely message on the 23 Psalms.  After church I cooked dinner while the kids took the kitties out play in the back yard.  They ran and  played (the kitties) and had a good time.  This was the first time I have allowed them to play outside.  Although the Mister told me that the kids had been taking them outside when I wasn’t around.  Yikes!!

After dinner I took a loooong nap.  It is, after all, a day of rest.  Even the kitty’s know that.  They slept all afternoon in a dining room chair.