ProlificMom

Today I am linking to Kristin at We Are THAT Family for her 2nd Blogoversary Celebration and sharing with you some of the reasons that we too are THAT FAMILY.

Sometimes kids say the funniest things.

In my case, they say the MOST EMBARRASSING THINGS.  It NEVER FAILS.  If there is something spontaneous and just bad that can be said at an inconvenient time, it will come out of on of my kids mouths.

One day I came home to an episode of Seinfeld on television.  As I walked through the door it just  happened to be the episode where George is meeting with Texas businessmen who use the phrase for Son of a B!@#% over and over and over.   As I turned the corner in my living room I noticed that ALL of my children were watching TV.    This is where it goes into slo-mo for me as I  play it back in my head.  I was trying to run to the TV as fast as possible to turn it off or change the channel before it could be repeated but toooooo laaaaate.

For the next six months our four year old son (#2) repeated it as often as possible at home and in public.  The public part was mostly at church.

This is the same child who, the same year, got so angry when he had to go to the church nursery one Sunday night that he told the nursery worker the following:  ”I HATE YOU AND I HATE MY DAD AND I’M GOING TO CUT YOUR BUT OFF WITH AN ELECTRIC SAW.”  Yes, he has always been intelligent beyond his years and equally articulate.

Same son had to be removed from kindergarten after the first week and a half due to his daily meltdowns and there was also the physical assault on the assistant principal.

Several years later,  our three year old son (#3) aka: “clone of son #2″  showed us that he was his brother’s equal in every way.

They say that the Preachers kids are always the worst and this is why:  It was a very hot Texas Friday night in June.  I was on staff as the Director of Children’s Ministry and we were having an ice cream social at church.  The air conditioner in our building went out so we ate the ice cream as fast as possible because it was melting.  Everyone was thirsty.  We were singing Father Abraham.  If you are not familiar with this song, its kind of like the Hokey Pokey.  Half way through the song, #3 calls out that he is thirsty.  ”Mom, I’m thirsty” over and over and louder and louder.  I’m thinking I will wait until the song is over and then get him something to drink but #3 doesn’t want to wait.  He is so mad that I ignored him that he yells out from the back of the room – in the presence of all of the kids and their moms and one of our church board members: “I HATE YOU JACK A SS MOM…STUPID JACK A SS MOM!”  Imagine my embarrassment.  I continued with the song through the end and then we went outside to deal with issue.  He is so much fun at parties!

Two years later he was suspended from kindergarten on the second day of school for punching another student in the stomach.  As soon as I got the call from the school I called my mother and cried over the phone.

The stunts my kids have done have pushed me to the edge of reality.  They have climbed on the roof with butcher knives, thrown poop on the ceiling in the middle of the night, put Vaseline in my hairbrush, set a fire in the closet and I could go on and on and on but there is not enough time.  This is one of the reasons I started blogging.  Its really cheap therapy.   I’ve cried as many tears of agony as tears of joy.  I love them all more than life itself and I can’t function properly without them.  Children are a gift from God and BOY AM I GIFTED!!  In fact, I think I have been over endowed.   They are the gift that keeps on giving.  I can’t wait to see what they are going to be when they grow up.

We are definitely THAT family.