ProlificMom

Today, on the way home from work I had to stop at Walmart to purchase a kitty carrier.  Walmart had all of their leftover Halloween candy on sale  for 75% off.   It was posted by the front door. So, I picked up these favorites for just pennies on the dollar.  How could I resist?  They were calling my name.

Unfortunately, when it comes to candy, I have all of the self control of a 15 year old.  Actually, it’s more like a 7 year old and and eight year old combined.

Right now I am sooooo sick I feel like I could vomit.

To make matters worse, the Mister asked me to go to the store to buy chips and salsa. Although I was already nauseated, while I was there I also picked up this favorite.  It was delicious but now I feel even worse.

Some people just never learn!!!

I LOVE chocolate so much, if you cut me I would bleed Hershey’s Syrup.

So here is the rest of the story.

I was in the store to buy school supplies for #2 and #4. It was the day after Halloween and Walmart had all of their candy in boxes by the front door. The sign said 50% off. How could I resist. It was calling my name.

{and the sales clerk laughed}

Then, on the way to the school supplies I remembered that I had decided to try some kind of weight loss aid, because I really want to lose 15 pounds by new years. Kind of an “old year’s” resolution. So, I stopped by THAT AISLE in the pharmacy department. There were so many different brands to choose from and I decided to go with something new – Full Bar. It seems like a simple concept. It fills you up so you will not overeat and you will not feel hungry between meals.

On Monday morning I arrived at work early and ate half of a bar. They are very large so I figured half would be enough for my trial run. The instructions say to eat the entire bar and drink 8oz of water, then wait 30 minutes before eating a meal.

I am a stickler for following instructions. It really irritates me when someone neglects to follow directions and then comes to me to figure out how to fix their problem. And then, of course, I ask them if they followed the instructions. JUST FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS PEOPLE! OK???

Since I only ate half a bar, I decided to only drink half the liquid, but I really didn’t want to drink water so I drank about four ounces of diet coke. It’s still liquid….uhhh…right?

I was really hungry and I didn’t want to wait 30 minutes to eat. So, I went ahead and ate an entire can of soup. I was starving. This is what I usually have for breakfast except only half of a can. After downing the soup I was still really hungry, so I at the last half of the full bar followed by the rest of the diet coke. But I was still REALLY hungry. I couldn’t get enough to eat for some reason. Then I ate like 1/4th of the bag of chocolate. But I was still hungry!

This is where it got kind of interesting because I then suddenly had to go to the bathroom. Can you say POOP?

CAUTION: This is the part of the story where I talk about poop, but I will refer to it as BM (bowel movement) for those of you moms who are so demure and ladylike that you would never be caught even saying the word “fart”.

I had to go like I hadn’t had a BM in days. Then about an hour later I had to go again – same thing. Then, you guessed it, an hour later I was back in the lou for BM #3. Oh my goodness! Three full BMs in THREE HOURS! And now I was starving AGAIN. So I ate a bag of chips and some more chocolate and some crackers and a fruit bar – and I was still hungry like I hadn’t eaten in days. THEN I had to go back to the lou for my fourth and final very full BM before leaving work for the day. This was ridiculous!

On the way home (a one hour drive) I was so hungry that I felt like I could have eaten my shoe. If only it had been made of chocolate! I couldn’t wait to get home and eat dinner.

WOW! What an odd day. After thinking about it for a while I decide that I probably should have followed the directions on the Full Bar package because I definitely did not follow the directions. I did it my own way and it definitely BACKFIRED on me.

Moral of the story: FOLLOW THE DIRECTION!

Today I waited until after work, ate an entire Full Bar, drank 8oz of water and waited 30 minutes to eat. I only ate a modest portion of pork for dinner and I am completely satisfied. It has been two hours and so far….NO BM.

Last night I had to go to the store to get some school supplies for #s 2 and 4.  On the way to the schools supplies I just happened to pass both of these items.  One of them was selling for half price so I couldn’t  pass it up.

{and the sales clerk laughed}

I entered a contest.  Well, its not actually a contest because I’m not actually competing with any other blogs.  And, I’m really not competitive with anyone but myself. I have never even liked popularity contests.   I just like to see if I can best myself.   Competing with others usually doesn’t work out well for me, and I learned at an early age to calculate guesstimate the odds of winning.  They are usually very high in favor of me not winning – kind of like the lottery, which I also do not play.  I know, its sound a little bit self defeting.  But I just don’t like to waist my time with acts of futility.

So, you ask, for someone who doesn’t like to compete or enter contests, why would I do this?

The answer: It just seems interesting and kind of fun.  I’m really trying to step out of my comfort zone and do new things.

So, will you help me?  {Insert Guilt Here}  I’m terrified that I’m going to throw a party and nobody will show up.   Please don’t leave me feeling like the lonely girl  in the middle of the school lunch room because nobody will sit with her even though she has the most incredible rock collection and she is willing to share her tapioca pudding.

Please vote for me by clicking on the button.  That’s all you have to do.  Oh, and did I mention that TopMommyBlogs.com has the some of the best mommy blogs.  If you are looking from some great mom blogs click on the button and find some great mommy blogs.

{ProlificMom - On The Edge}

I don’t know if there was a full moon out last night where you live, but it was shining really big over my house all night and all day today.

#1 overslept and missed the school bus because she had a serious nosebleed.  The mister had to take her to school – thankfully it was his day off.  I overslept after getting a FULL nights sleep – went to sleep at 9:00pm on Thursday and didn’t wake up until 6:30am.  That’s 9.5 hours of sleep!  Had enough time to take a shower but couldn’t wash my fine but very oily hair.

I had to go to the store first thing (7am) for chex mix for girl #2’s class party and a patch for a superhero cape with a hole in it.  When I got into the car I almost threw up from the smell of something that had died under the passenger seat – someone left an uneaten school lunch under the seat for several days.  I have an EXTREMELY STRONG gag reflex to bad odors so I had to ride with the windows down – it was very cold and did I mention the RAIN!  Our Walmart doesn’t keep Chex Mix on the same aisle as the chips and party mix so I looked for 15 minutes before a store clerk  found them for me on another aisle. TOTALLY NOT OBVIOUS.  The patch didn’t work – wouldn’t adhere to the cape because of the type of fabric.  When boy #3 got to school and got out of the car the cape magically disappeared to not be found.  Superman was left as just plane Kent Clark.    On the way to school I actually missed my turn, so I had to drive and extra 1.4 miles the extra long way around and through an additional school zone to get the kids there with one minute to spare.

{I NEVER EVER EVER EVER blog about work but  this is generic enough) At work I discovered that FedEx lost/misplaced/is searching for a package I sent out two weeks ago.  Somewhere in the United States there is a box of business cards being held hostage but FedEx can’t figure out which part of their empire company has possession of them.   This just had to happen because it was Full Moon Friday.  (Maybe that would be a great topic for a blog carnival.)  And, my new electric stapler malfunctioned.

After work I took Girl #1 for an evening of desperately need shopping therapy where we got the cutest and most awesome clothes for her wardrobe.  We capped off the evening with a brief stop at Starbucks where they were out of the one mix needed for the drink I REALLY  wanted.  After drinking our iced coffees we headed home.  As we pulled into our driveway at 9:00pm I reached for my purse only to discover that it had been left under the table at Starbucks.  We hurried back to Starbucks and THANKFULLY it was still under the table with nothing missing.  We got home at 9:30pm and realized that neither of us had eaten since lunch.  I made some quick grilled cheese sandwiches.  We hung all of the clothes and went to bed.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!  No more strange full moon activity for me today!  I’m going to bed.

Happy FULL MOON Friday!

Wooo Hoooo!!!!!

Recently I unburdened my soul and admitted to the world that I have had self esteem issues about my skin – specifically my hands and feet.  You can read that story here.

That was until today when my sister, D, called to let me know that, sharing the same genes, she has also always had the same old lady elephant hands and never liked them either. We both grew up this way – imagine little girls with wrinkled, old lady, elephant hands – and now she makes a living with her hands as an interpreter for the deaf.  They are OUT THERE all the time for the world to see (or hear).

BUT THEN, she also told me something TOTALLY AWESOME that I never knew OR SAW.  So, I had to look it up for myself.

Beautiful Wrinkled Hands

This is a picture of Nicole Kidman’s BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR HANDS.  Just look at all of those beautiful wrinkles!!!!

I’m not feelin so bad about my hands any more.

Beautiful Hands

Today I’m joining MckMamma in posting a Not Me! Monday!   For more Not Me! Monday! fun hop over to MckMamma. (Sorry, MckMamma, I couldn’t get your button to work in my post.)

There are so many embarrassing things I could post including this post of how my children have managed to totally embarrass me over the years.  But today I’m sharing somthing fun and sweet and still Not Me!

I love my kitties.  The are sweet and adorable and have brought much joy and peace to our house.  I love to hold and love on them as much as they will allow.  But I also find myself washing my hands as often as a germaphobe with serious OCD issues.

One thing I can’t stand is to see them jump up on the kitchen table.  I detest when my kids touch them right before eating and then I have to remind them to wash their hands before touching their food.  We have had a case of intestinal worms before (Boy #2) and I thought I was going to die of disgust and then I had to fight off the fear of getting them myself – and I’m NOT OCD or a hypochondriac. No. Not Me!

And I am not a clean freak, but you would never know that because I NEVER ALLOW COMPANY IN MY HOUSE.  Therefore there is no evidence and I can let the world have its illusion of who they think I am. TOTALLY NOT SUPERMOM. No. Not Me!

So, it surprised me at how my heart melted as I was cooking dinner tonight.  I turned around to find my kitties ON THE KITCHEN TABLE.  Instead of freaking out and swatting them down (followed by another comprehensive hand washing) I just had to stop and take these photos.

(And I just have to add that tonight was throw your food on the floor night at the ProlificMom house.  It started with son #1, who spilled his brother’s food on the floor and then got a good tongue lashing from yours truly and the Mister due to the circumstances of the accident.  Then, after dinner as I was putting a plate in the fridge for son #3, who refused to eat because he was too tired, I spilled the entire contents on the floor.  Yes, I do all of my own stunts.  I’m just really talented like that.  This was followed by a HUGE hug and apology to son #1)  It was definitely a NOT ME! MONDAY!

So, In the spirit of Not Me! Monday! :

I did not let my cats sit on the table while I cooked dinner and then I did not let them stay on the table while I took these adorable photos.  I also did not give son #1 a verbal tongue lashing for spilling HIS BROTHER’S food and then I DID NOT spill an entire plate of food on the floor all by myself!  :-)  NO, NOT ME!!!

Cat in the Hat

Brotherly love - Kitty Grooming

What?? Are YOU looking at ME?